The Day Draco met...
by A.A. Majors
Summary: Spell-checked! The Day Draco Met The Girl Scouts, Dwarves, Disco Ball, and the Graffeti! I torture Draco with insanity. Supid, eh? CHAPTER TWO IS UP! YAY!
1. Draco awakes- THE HORROR!

The Day Draco Met The Girl Scouts, Dwarves, Disco Ball, and the Graffiti!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The *gasps* GASP! belongs to one of my best friends...I think.  
  
Draco Malfoy woke up from perfectly normal night of sleep to *gasps* GASP! A very disturbing morning! He was wearing a very frilly night gown. He looked around, slightly confused. He noticed that he was in the Girls' dormitory, NOT the Boys'. What's more, every girl in there was ball dancing with another girl, with the exception of two very familiar people. Crabbe was dancing with Pansy Parkinson as Goyle was singing "Somewhere over the Rainbow." Goyle was also throwing flower petals around. What was going on?  
  
"Crabbe, Goyle, what is going on?" ventured a very frightened Draco.  
  
No answer. They were either ignoring him or they didn't know. Probably the latter. Draco stood up on his bed, when a horrible wrenching noise sounded. Draco looked down and noticed that his pink four-poster was scooting towards the door. "Ahhhh!" yelled Draco. He was too busy holding on for dear-life to jump down. The bed reached the door and screeched downstairs.  
  
"Pansy, help!" but Pansy couldn't have cared less, because she was now tying cats up with silly string and tossing them like lassos (how she got the silly string to hold is beyond me). As the possessed bed hit the wall, Draco climbed off of it, only to hear the sound of bludgers hitting cold pavement. Draco approached the common room with immense caution.....but it could not save him from the horror of-  
  
"Girl Scouts playing basketball!?" questioned poor demented Draco. Yes, that is what he saw! Girl Scouts playing basketball with bludgers!!! What was really creepy about it was that he didn't know what basketball or Girl Scouts were. What was even creepier is that he had the strange urge to be a Girl Scout. Draco ran over to the door, avoiding the sport-loving freaks. But, alas! When he opened the door, out shot Ginny/Draco shippers! Loads of them!!  
  
"Who the heck are all of you!?" cried Dwacy-waky  
  
"We are the Christmas Spirits!" they lied.  
  
"We'll it's not Christmas!" said Draco, slamming the door. He had no clue how to get out! He was trapped with insanity. Suddenly a voice behind him spoke-  
  
"Bring me the boy" said the revolving Disco ball that appeared out of no where. As the Girl Scouts marched to Draco, he guessed the ball was their GS leader. They all grabbed some part of anatomy (not *that* part, you twit!) and dragged him to the disco ball.  
  
"If you want to leave......"said the DS slowly.  
  
"Yes," said Draco eager for the aid of the ball.  
  
"...find me....."  
  
"Find you what!?" ordered Draco, but it was too late. The ball was sleeping. Draco looked around him. The scouts were now chewing on the four- poster. Draco turned around, but he heard 7 pairs of marching foot steps. He continued. They continued. He reached the door, wishing in vain that the insanity would come to a halt. He turned around and there were 7 wooden dwarves behind him.  
  
"Shoo!" he hissed. They blinked at him. He glared at them, evilly and pulled out his wand.  
  
"Materia"! Each dwarf split in half. Draco opened the door, which from the outside usually looked like damp stone....but not today!! Today it was damp stone with graffiti! Mwuhahahahahaha! It read  
  
The Chamber of Secrets is Closed. Please drive up to nearest window  
  
Draco, seeing the message, shrugged and mumbled "I bet this is another fan fic."  
  
At this beautiful realisation, Draco stopped. He obviously though that if he stayed still nothing would happen.  
  
"If I stay still nothing will happen," he said aloud. Then a giant hand came out of absolutely nowhere and prodded his right shoulder. A loud booming voice of a girl somewhere over head, ordered, "Move, or I shall make your father riverdance!" At this frightening new concept he ran. And he ran. Yep, he was still running when Snape came out of his office in a leather pants! (eek!) He also had a hat on, that if further inspected would reveal to be a kitten.  
  
" Mr. Malfoy? Have you seen John-Jacob-Jingle-Hymmer-Smith? He has my microscope." Here, Snape began to moonwalk.  
  
"No, professor, I haven't," replied poor confused Malfoy.  
  
" Well.....Miss Malfoy, if you see him please tell him I am up for a rousing game of Barbie dating. Oh, and don't forget we have our big game today. Slytherin Vs Gryffindor."  
  
Malfoy gulped. How did the author manage to mutilate Quidditch.....little did he know Snape was not talking about Quidditch. Mwuhahahahahaha!  
  
~EnD~  
  
Okay, so it's weird. If you want to see how I messed up the "game" review and I might write more....or I might not, let's just see then, shall we? 


	2. Draco's Match

When we last left our confused Draco Malfoy, he was talking to Snape about the "game," which Draco assuemed was Quidditch. But as the small elbino- ferret boy enterd the pitch, he realised that he was WRONG! Very, very wrong!!!!! Our story continues there.  
  
As Draco entered the Qudditch stadium, he realised that the sick minded, yet completely brilliant (okay, maybe not) author was truly insane! For what he saw was 15 live penguins. 7 Gryffindor students, one of which was Potter, were sitting on top of the penguins in jockey gear. The same was true for 6 Slytherins and Madam Hooch. Hooch bustled over to Draco.  
  
"Boy, why aren't you in uniform?" she ordered.  
  
Draco tryed to stammer that he was, but before he could, she threw an outragous green uniform at him.  
  
"Go an change in the locker room. And hurry up! We've been waiting long enough."  
  
Draco did as he was told, but it was not easy. First, his uniform was shaped like a bananna, so that took a while to firgure out. Then there was the equipment she handed him. Instead of a broom, he got a glow stick. She also handed him a flamingo. When Draco walked out onto the feild, he looked up into the crowd, half expecting them to laugh. Hermione Granger was dancing on the Gryffindor section and was singing "Oompa Loompa." Ron Weasley was juggling his siblings. Now for the teams.... they all looked reasonably normal, with the exception of their clothing, which had been change while Malfoy was dressing. Everyone was dressed like some kind of fruit or vegetable. He assumed the vegetables were only for Gryffindor, because Harry Potter was dressed like a cucumber. Draco looked at his team. Yep...fruits. At this, Draco found out that this was an insult from the author.  
  
"Everyone knows how to play, but I will review the rules,"Madam Hooch said, snapping Draco back to reality. "The glowsticks are tossed to the team's captain while s/he tries to bat them away with her/his flamingo. After that, the person batting will be the eldest team member, repeat. Then the second eldest, third etc. Once the entire team has gone, you will each bop your penguins on the head. The first team to finish wins. Don't worry if your penguin starts to falter." At this, Draco assumed the penguins could fly. Which was correct. "Any questions?" Silence."On my mark, eat bread, SNOW" Madam Hooch blew her whistle and they all rose in the air.  
  
As Draco threw his glowstick in the air, he looked around. Potter was just sitting on his penguin, and every once in a while he'd throw up his glowstick. Just as it was Draco's turn to catch, a whistle was blown.  
  
"GAME!" called out Madame Hooch. Draco was confused and when he asked who won, he was still confused. "Why, Harry Potter! Because we love him!" she said and gave Harry this "I-adore-you" look. The crowd Aahed at the thought of Harry. As they all marched back into the school, Draco saw that his fruit costume was now his normal robe. He became very anxious.  
  
As he entered the entrance-hall, Malfoy saw something strange (As if that's a suprise?). He saw Crookshanks and at least 500 owls having a Carcarase Race (Note: That's were the racers run around in a circle untill they decide to stop. Everyone wins.). While doing this, Crookshanks was singing some wretched Spice Girl song. Draco, not amused, kept walking untill he ran into Hermione. She looked perfectly normal......except for the fact that her shoes were strapped to 4 feet of books.  
  
"He-Hey-Hey Hey Draco!" she clapped. Draco backed away.  
  
"What?" he asked, scared.  
  
" I-I-I am-a-am go-going to-t-to the l-li-library!" Hermione finished her cheer and walked off, waving flashlights in the air. Draco badly wanted to end this story, but whenever the lead wishes this, more insanity comes his way.  
  
And come it did, as Draco saw Mrs. Norris in a slinky red dress. She ran up and jumped on him.  
  
"Draco, all these years when I was snitching on you, it was a cover-up!" Filch came out of nowhere and said, "Easy, breezy, beautiful cover-girl!"  
  
Norris continued," I LOVE YOU! I WANT YOU to be the one who feeds me my Magic Meow Mix!"  
  
Draco ran off before Mrs. Norris started to sing, " You are my sunshine."  
  
Sadly, Draco wasn't watching where he was going and he ran into a very solid wall. So, he's now in the Hospital Wing. And I cannot harm him anymore, because while he was IN the Hospital Wing, he called his lawyer, and now they're after me. I am now on the run, and I can't write anymore Draco-tortures or they'll drag me off to Wizarding court.  
  
THE END! 


End file.
